JADE'S JOURNAL is the column from Busselton-Dunsborough Mail journalist Jade Jurewicz.
Jade's perfect day would begin with a long mac or two and end with gin o’clock at 6pm on the dot, with plenty of giggles with her sisters and endless hours of retail therapy in between.
Her worst possible day would begin with an extended drive and end with having to watch the football (sorry all in the Busselton Mail office) and would include seeing lizards and eating melted cheese in between.
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A new mum recently confided in me the guilt she endured when her baby had to spend the day dressed in, for lack of a better description, clothes.
On social media we are bombarded with images of angelic tiny humans sporting this season’s latest leather loafers, cashmere knits and printed pants I wish came in my size.
Boasting price tags of $50 to $200 these teeny tiny snippets of material have a shelf life of one week max, as babies seem to sprout another centimetre or two during every nap.
And like an image of an Instafamous fashion icon, the paragraph of hashtags at the bottom of the adorable images direct onlookers to where they can purchase said eyebrow raising priced baby get-up.
Don’t get me wrong, I melt over a cute baby image as much as the rest of the lady race.
However I do have to wonder if perhaps the money and time waiting for the baby to smile after passing wind before snapping the pic could be better spent elsewhere.
My mummy confidant sighed as she said her baby looked so uncomfortable when she was wearing pants and a beanie for a day out on the town.
“I just want to take her home and put her back in a onesie” she admitted.
And I had to agree, the first few years of our lives are the only time that wearing a onesie all day everyday is considered socially acceptable.
This conversation had me thinking that there had to be some kind of term to describe the condition which has mums taking their babies out of onesies and dressing them in trendy clothing…
Competitive mum syndrome.
A quick Google search and the discovery of subsequent articles, whinges and visual examples (eg: dedicated baby Instagram accounts) of the condition quickly confirmed that it was not a figment of my imagination.
Competition between mums is no longer allocated to the rare not-rain-checked play dates when mums manage enough beauty sleep to be able to differentiate between toothpaste and moisturiser.
Nor is the bragging limited to annoying declarations of “well my baby is already talking, crawling, walking and wiping their own behind".
Bragging can now take place when you think you’re safe in the perfectly sunken part of the couch watching Friends reruns and flicking through social media.
From the baby selfies in this season’s boho baby musts, Bec Judd’s post baby body and on trend prams which cost as much as two week’s vacation in Bali; competitive mum syndrome is a very real issue.
However, inevitably, it is evident to see that this condition comes from a foundation of love.
Because really, how could you not want to spoil and show off the soft bundle of goodness that you bought into the world?
I guess just some mums will have more bags bursting with last seasons hand-me-downs than others.
What do you think? Have you had enough of competitive mums showing off their little treasures on social media? Post your comments below.