We often look back on the decision to resign from a job as a happy career juncture, a fork in the career road with a perfectly cooked career sausage on the end of it. But the moment itself, that 10 or 15 seconds in which we have to tell our manager that we're pulling the work pin, is almost always filled with trembling anxiety.
So here, for your edification, are some conversation starters, written in natural, everyday language, that cover many of the most common situations surrounding a professional parting of ways.
"I came to this company to kick ass and chew gum and I'm all out of motivation to kick ass, so unless you want to pay me $120,000 a year to chew gum, please accept my resignation."
"I promised myself I wouldn't cry. I'm not sure why. That was never in play. I have no attachment to this job whatsoever. I'm out."
"I'm blowing this popsicle stand, Knackers."
"At the end of this conversation I'm going to walk out this door and you're never going to see me again. Except for tomorrow when I'll come back to collect my things and tidy my desk and maybe get a biscuit from the tin in the kitchen."
"OK, two choices. I can just hand you my letter or I can sing ABBA's Knowing Me, Knowing You, then hand you my letter. Which would you prefer?"
"Let's you and I resign at the same time. Thelma and Louise-style."
Keep these close and turn your resignation moment into a walk in the career park.
Jonathan Rivett dreads the day he has to resign from haught.com.au because his boss there is a total prick.
