Many Australians may feel distressed and even traumatised by the executions of Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran, a leading psychologists says.
But Dr Rob Gordon, a member of the Australian Psychological Society disaster reference group, said there are ways to protect yourself and your children if they are having trouble coping with the news.
"These men have been in the news for a long time, people have seen them many times on TV, so they have got a more personal connection ... and that makes their death something people experience in a more tangible way," Dr Gordon said. "Because of the media environment ... we have all, to some degree, felt a connection to them, whether it is a positive or negative."
Dr Gordon said children in particular might respond to their parents' feelings of distress at the executions.
"If people are feeling bad they should limit their exposure to it, and their children's exposure," he said. "If their parents are upset, children will tend to think it is a very close and personal event, because they normally only expect parents to be upset about something that relates to their family or lives, so make sure you explain the obvious to them that it does not."
Dr Gordon said it was important to distinguish between two different responses to the deaths; grief and trauma.
"The grief is about the whole idea, the loss of these young men, whereas the trauma side is about it feeling horrible, frightened and out of control, and those two sides can be hard to reconcile," he said.
"It's really important to be able to give proper meaning to these things, to separate the trauma out so it sits by itself."
He said once you separated those feelings, it was easier to cope with the sadness, and establish coping mechanisms to deal with any traumatic feelings.
"When it doesn't make sense, what we have got to do is keep going back to the fact there is a culture, there is a legal system and they have got certain punishments that are different to ours," he said. "It is really tragic but that is what happens in that part of the world."
Feeling sad, on the other had, was a less psychologically damaging response. However, people who were feeling upset could still use coping strategies, such as doing something nice for themselves, like going for a bushwalk, or something nice for others, such as donating money to a drug rehabilitation program, to help create positive meaning from the event.
Tips for coping with sadness:
- It's OK to feel sad, but try not to let feelings of panic or horror set in. Remember that this is an expected event happening within the Indonesian legal framework.
- Explain to your children why you are sad, and reassure them there is no threat to them or their family.
- Do something positive with your sadness, like donating for charity or just taking time to reflect.
- Avoid detailed media reporting of the deaths if it is upsetting you.
