SHANELLE'S SHENANIGANS is the column from Bunbury Mail editor Shanelle Miller.
Twenty-five-year-old Shanelle is a self-confessed country bumpkin with a penchant for good food (and lots of it), SingStar, a cheeky cider on a summer's day and compulsive online shopping.
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Okay, confession time.
A little while back, I ventured into the murky depths of the location-based dating app widely known as Tinder.
In the office, we called it a “social experiment”.
We all knew that was a thinly-veiled attempt to mask my burning curiosity to know what this saucy little hand-held portal was all about.
For those of you who have been living under a rock or are too high-brow to have investigated the Tinder world, this is how it works.
You set up a profile – but this is not like a typical dating profile where you give a full run-down on your hair and eye colour, music preferences and penchant for long walks on the beach.
It’s usually as simple as your first name, age and a couple of photos – and if you really want to intrigue your potential matches, throw in a couple of lines to sum up your dazzling personality.
I dodged that option for the purposes of the experiment.
From there it’s game on – let Tinder know the gender and age bracket of your desired suitor and choose a search distance, anywhere up to 160 kilometres from your current location (look out Perth lads!)
Tinder gets busy scanning your area and delivers you a smorgasbord of people for you to sift through like a deck of cards.
After a quick peruse of their profile, you make the crucial call to swipe left for “no thanks” or right for “hello stud muffin!” – not unlike the thumbs up and down that determined the fate of gladiators in the Colosseum.
And then it’s the nerve-wracking wait....if your chosen one has also taken a shine to you, hurrah! You have a match!
If not – well, that’s a bit awkward. You just assume that Prince Charming has not had time to get on Tinder lately and therefore has not yet seen your dazzling smile.
Recent reports have raised the issue that perhaps this little app is being used by young people to find other people keen for a no-strings-attached one night stand.
My answer to this is....well, aint that a little obvious?
You are being presented “matches” based largely on their appearance (which is usually some version of the scantily-clad duck face selfie for girls and a flexed-to-the-max gym mirror shot for guys).
You know down to the kilometre how far away this individual is and you are given the accessibility to hit them up in a private chat room, which I’m going to assume isn’t commonly used for deep and meaningful conversations about life goals and philosophy.
My experiment cemented this theory – a large percentage of matches were quick to let me know that they were after a physical rather than emotional connection, effectively winding up our conversation as quickly as it started.
And let me tell you, there were A LOT of profiles to sift through before I could find anything approaching someone I wouldn’t mind having a chat to in a pub.
There’s the gym selfie (see above) which is an instant turn-off. The gym is for a workout, not a photo shoot, mate.
Then there’s the “I like to drink booze” profile, which captures the Casanova guzzling some sort of beverage and clearly demonstrating that he’s a party boy who will deliver fun times to my otherwise dull life.
This profile pic is often accompanied with a self-assured middle finger at the camera, which seals the deal for me – he’s a keeper for sure.
Then there’s the extremely blurry pic in which I can barely distinguish if he is in fact a man or yeti, closely followed by the profile shot with him and 10 of his closest mates....if I don’t know which one is you, mate, I can hardly make a valid snap judgement, now can I?
Tinder insists that it has been the catalyst of many a happy relationship and marriage, but I find this as hard to believe as the awkward actors who gush about their fairy tale love story on those eHarmony TV ads.
So as far as Tinder goes, I conclude that it is a semi-amusing bit of entertainment and a half-hearted ego boost (although I’m fairly certain the majority of the guys just give the thumbs up to every lady in the hopes of boosting their hit-rate).
In saying that, I would love for someone to prove me wrong – have you met the love of your life through Tinder? Email editor.bunburymail@fairfaxmedia.com.au
What do you think? Have you found "the one" using Tinder or any other web-based matchmaker? Post your comments below or send an email to the above address.
